LinuxSA Mailing list archives

  From: Andrew Pullin <andrew@hotspurbgc.com.au>
  To  : Robyn Manning <rmanning@adam.com.au>
        Linux SA <linuxsa@linuxsa.org.au>
  Date: Wed, 9 Jul 2003 22:47:44 +1000

Re: 2003 Darwin Awards]

Hi Robyn (and All),
    Are you certain that they are the OFFICIAL 2003 Darwin Awards? The
reason I ask is that certainly your winner and probably some others of those
stories are in the Darwin Awards Books (there are two of them) and I have
owned both of them for at least a year. Now I haven't checked the Darwin
Awards site, but I am sure that they are old ones. I also know that there
have been at least three Darwin Awards sites running concurrently at one
time or another, and there has been some confusion in the past. I am not
saying that those stories aren't Darwin Awards or don't deserve them, but I
am a little dubious about that they are for THIS year. Might be worth
checking out.
    Cheers!
        Andrew.


----- Original Message -----
From: "Robyn Manning" <rmanning@adam.com.au>
To: "Linux SA" <linuxsa@linuxsa.org.au>
Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2003 10:19 PM
Subject: [Fwd: 2003 Darwin Awards]


> The 2003 Darwin Awards
> In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards,
> here they are. The awards this year are, once again, truly classic. These
> awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that
individual,
> who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove
> undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
> Just think...until these events, these same people were walking the
streets
> like normal people.
>
> 5th RUNNER-UP:
> Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower
> at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam
> pad. The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth
> Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's
> department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run
> called Stump alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift
> towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The
> pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently
> used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed
> into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower
> he hit was the one with its pad removed.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 4th RUNNER-UP:
>
> Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St.Louis
> market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot
> dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found
> him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch
> wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 3rd RUNNER-UP:
>
> Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above
him
> on a n overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 2nd RUNNER-UP:
>
> "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably
related
> to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the .22bullet to
replace
> the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his
> mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth,
> and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a
prank
> during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man
had
> it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it." "It
> wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off." He put
> it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and
> tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday
> with extensive Facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston
> Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like
> that," Payne said.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 1st RUNNER-UP:
>
> Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through
> the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released
soon
> from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last
> weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men
> Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grants
> Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the
arrow
> entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1
> millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and
Roberts
> would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the
> University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches
> of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow
> managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had
Roberts
> tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed
himself.
> Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that
> afternoon. Said Roberts, I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been
> filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the
> initiation stunt is under investigation.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Now, THIS YEAR'S WINNER:
>
> (The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the
> great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert
> at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had
18
> beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over
> the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup
truck
> over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds
> heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his
> friend over. Unfortunate for (the late) Mr.Pernicky, there was a 30-foot
> drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found
> himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken,
> along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts.
> Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some
bushes
> below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed
his
> pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the
> tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp
leaves
> scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the
> protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make
> matters worse, on landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.
> Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a
rope
> and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and
> slowly driving away.
> However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and
> crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police
> arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from
the
> truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving
the
> truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly
> stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a
> tree branch 25 feet in the air.
> Congratulations gentlemen, you win...
>
> ~~~~
> --
> You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
>
> --
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