LinuxSA Mailing list archives

  From: Michael Schwarz <michael@merlin.net.au>
  To  : linuxsa@linuxsa.org.au
  Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 19:43:03 +1030

have a chuckle :)

I realise that this is fairly old but thought ppl might get a chuckle out of
it if they haven't come across it before....

Michael.


At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response
to
Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr
Welch
himself): If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with  the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy
a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or
"CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, and
twice as easy to drive,  but would only run on five per cent of the
roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force ever one to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally, and for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle,
turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand
McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need
them
nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause
the
car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.


Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department.

12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in
the
same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.


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